Ed is nice! GX Version!
by Ai Jotunheimr
Summary: Once upon a time I wrote a fic about Edward Elric doing nice things in retaliation of someone saying he was a horrible little man. And now Edo Phoenix, by mere misfortune of sharing the same first name must suffer the same fate! Insert evil laughter here.
1. Chapter 1

That's right, I'm BORED again. So here comes another fanfic. And which of our poor boys has his soul under the hammer this time?

Sorry Ed, it's your turn.

And so without further ado, Ai-chan, the Goddess of Happiness at Knife Point presents:

**Ed is nice!(GX version!)**

Ed was dozing off on his sofa after finally finishing his business for the day. He'd been to a photo shoot, a signing and two meetings with two of his sponsors. He was tired. He was in no mood whatsoever for what was about to happen next.

There was a subtle change in the atmosphere of the room, as though the air had moved. Ed snapped awake and looked up sharply.

"Ed Phoenix!" a woman's voice shouted. Ed leapt to his feet and looked around, on guard. The owner of the voice then appeared directly in front of him and pointed dramatically directly at his nose, almost touching it. "Ed Phoenix, you are charged with being a smug git, and as such, I demand you make up for it for performing three good deeds, to prove you are nice!"

"Who the heck are you?" Ed replied, enraged "What business is it of yours what I do?"

"I'm a Goddess of Happiness, and I kind of hate you." the woman replied in a more normal tone of voice. She pouted and crossed her arms "But I don't want to hate you, because I know you're really a nice guy. So I want you to do some nice things. So I'll not hate you. And stuff."

"Listen lady, I don't know what you've heard or what you're on, but here's a newsflash for you-"

Ed crossed his arms "I don't _care _if you hate me. And as for happiness, if you want to make me happy you can _go away_ and mind your own business."

"What's wrong with spreading a little happiness, Ed? Anyway, if you don't do it, I'm going to, I dunno... rip your soul out or something. So there." Ed flopped back down on the couch and lay back, closing his eyes.

"Look, for your information I donate almost all my money to a school to keep it going. Not that I want it spreading about. Now, since I've decided you're a hallucination, kindly go away."

"I'm afraid I can't do that, Ed." the woman said brightly "I'll be checking up on you."

After a little while Ed cautiously opened an eye. There seemed to be no-one there. He dozed off.

Ed woke up the next day when he rolled off the couch and triggered an excruciating cramp in his shoulder. He'd fallen asleep in his clothes. He cursed and rubbed his shoulder. He'd have to be up and ready in just over an hour.

'I'd best have a shower... stupid hallucination... maybe I should book some time off...'

Ed grabbed a towel and furiously rubbed his hair. Nice? He was too busy to be nice. The Pro Duelist world didn't allow for 'nice'. Hell Kaizer was living proof of that, wasn't he? He sure as hell wasn't nice, was he? Why couldn't hallucinations go and bother him?

Still slightly bleary eyed, Ed squeezed out his toothpaste and started to brush his teeth. The warm water had done wonders for his cramped shoulder, but it still twinged. He went to rinse his mouth out and nearly choked, spitting mouth rinse all over his mirror. Underneath the foam dribbling down the mirror, his image was not his own. The woman from last night smiled at him and said brightly;

"Remember Ed, I'm watching you-" and then she was gone. Ed's own shocked and now even paler than usual face stared back at him.

"That's it." he said out loud "I'm booking time off _today_."

Ed got his breakfast ready with one hand while he spoke to his agent on the phone with the other, his voice occasionally getting muffled when he had no choice but to grab something with his teeth. He hadn't bothered to find a replacement for Manjyoume yet and in any case, it was nice to just have his place to himself in the morning for a change.

"I'm sorry Emerelda. I know it's difficult. But I've had a rough night and I think I've been hallucinating, so I really think I need a day or two off." he paused while he listened to Emerelda be infuriatingly reasonable and understanding. He was hoping she would talk him out of it. He was a _pro_ for goodness sake; he couldn't take time off ust because he'd had a crazy dream that some woman had told him to be nicer or else she'd rip his soul out. On the other hand, he had some very odd friends and people were quite often turning up and threatening to rip _their_ souls out, so maybe it wasn't a hallucination after all.

"Well, I'll cancel all your appointments for today and book you the next three days off, alright Ed?" Emerelda confirmed, dragging him out of his thoughts.

"Cancel all today's appointments?!" he started "You can't! I've got that interview with Duelist Monthly and that other meeting with our big European sponsor! And that's not even the half of it!"

"I'll make you new appointments, Ed." Emerelda replied "You will have one appointment today, though." she finished, happily.

"Thank goodness." Ed replied, relieved "Is it the appointment with that big TV company about the pro league rights? Because that's really important, you know."

"Oh no, it's far more important." Emerelda reassured him "I had one of the staff make you a doctors appointment as soon as you mentioned hallucinations."

"But-" Ed was cut off.

"We can't have people thinking we work our duelists to the point of madness, Ed." Emerelda said firmly "Take a few days off and relax. You're in the doctor's at 10am. Don't be late, or they might not see you. Take care." Ed glared at the phone briefly, sighed and hung up. Emerelda worked fast. It would do no good to try and get his appointments back, she would already have at least half of them cancelled and re-scheduled and messing them about even more wouldn't do him any favours.

Ed sat at the table and sipped his tea reflectively, his mood worsening. He was annoyed at missing four whole days of work. What was he supposed to do with four days off? And he hoped Emerelda hadn't mentioned the hallucinations to anyone but the doctor. Pro duelists had to deal with stress all the time. It was tough gig. He couldn't go around getting days off for being stressed. He'd be the laughing stock of the whole league.

After fretting and fiddling around his apartment all morning, he left early to go and see the doctor. He hoped he was just lacking some vitamins or something, maybe he was a little anaemic. However, the doctor found nothing. He told Ed to get some rest and relax for a few days.

Ed had had quite enough rest already as it was. He wasn't used to having free time. When he wasn't jetting off to a new location or attending interviews or meetings, he was training. He'd been at a loose end just trying to think of things to do to burn time between getting up at half six and going to the doctor's at ten.

'Maybe I'll go visit the school.' Ed thought as he walked along the street 'It'll be nice to see how all the kids are doing.'

Ed wandered aimlessly around the school. Classes were still going and he didn't want to interrupt.

He wondered if there was any point in checking in at the reception. It was standard procedure, but everyone knew who he was anyway.

'What the heck.' he thought and headed for the office 'It'll give me something to do while I wait for class to finish. And I can see how things look financially...' he brightened up as he neared the office 'Today won't be a total waste of time after all.' He knocked on the office door and went in.

"Hello? Why, if it isn't Ed Phoenix!"called the lady at the desk "Is something the matter?" she asked, her tone changing from bright to worried "We aren't scheduled to meet for weeks."

"Don't worry, it's nothing." Ed reassured her "I have a few days off and I thought I'd come and see how the school was doing. Is everything alright? Do you have enough teachers now?"

"We're doing fine, Mr. Phoenix." the woman nodded "We were able to hire those extra teachers we needed, thanks to you." she smiled. Ed smiled back.

"Good. If there's ever a problem, let me know and I'll see what I can do." The bell rang. "I'm going to go and see what the kids are up to."

"Thank you, they'll like that." the woman gave him a respectful nod as he left "Thank you for dropping by, Mr. Phoenix. Let us know if you need anything." Ed nodded back.

"I will, thanks."

Once outside, he was soon spotted by the children. The playground was right in front of the main office, so as soon as he set foot outside he was mobbed by several children.

"Hey, it's Ed!"

"Mr. Ed is here!"

"Did you come to play with us?"

"I wanna duel! I wanna duel!" Ed knelt down so he was face to face with the children.

"You don't have to shout, I'm not deaf." he told them, smiling "And what are you all up to today?"

"We was playin' house, but Timmy said it was stupid, and he kicked over the oven and it set on fire and everyone _died!_" shouted a small brown haired girl to Ed's left.

"Ha ha, Timmy you were playing house!" a black haired boy mocked the boy next to him, giving him a shove. The other boy shoved back.

"I was _not!_" he protested, turning crimson "I was just going to get my stuff and they all said suddenly I was playing and I said 'no way' but they were all being stupid!"

"Hey, Ed!" another little girl tugged on Ed's sleeve "Ed, I drew you some new cards! They're really cool, wanna see?"

"Ed doesn't wanna see your dumb cards!" Timmy snorted "They're probably all dumb girly cards and anyway, girls can't duel!"

"They can too!" the little girl shouted back, welling up "And Ed does _too_ wanna see my cards!"

"I'd love to see your cards, Millie." Ed replied, smiling "It's not nice to diss people's card designs, Timmy." he told the boy firmly.

"Yay!" Millie clapped and then grabbed Ed's hand, pulling him toward the classroom. She stuck her tongue out at Timmy halfway across the playground.

"These are very nice, Millie." Ed patted the girl on the head.

"This one's my favourite!" she said, pointing at one "Oh, but this one is the best one, look, I coloured all in the lines and everything!" The bell rang. "Ed, are you gonna stay for some lessons? We're doing cooking next! We're gonna make a cake!" Millie asked exitedly as the children came pouring into the classroom.

"I don't think I'm allowed, Millie. And I don't want to bother your teacher." Ed replied.

"Aww!" Millie cried, hanging onto his hand "C'mon, Ed!"

"I'm sorry, but I don't make the rules." Ed apologised.

"Miss, Miss!" shouted Millie, flying over to the teacher as soon as she saw her "Ed can stay and do cooking with us can't he? He can, can't he?"

"Oh, Mr. Phoenix!" the teacher started, after recovering from brief confusion "What brings you here? I hope the children haven't been bothering you."

"Not at all." Ed replied shaking his head.

"Miss, Ed can stay, right?" Millie asked again, determined.

"If he wants to." the teacher told the little girl "Mr. Phoenix, would you like to join us for the next lesson?" she asked Ed "We're going to be making cake. You're welcome to join in."

"I'd love to." Ed replied. There was a cheer from several children, who then immediately began to argue.

"Mr. Ed, Mr. Ed, join our group!"

"No way! He's going to be in _our_ group!"

"You guys don't even play duel monsters! There's _no way_ he'd want to be in your group!"

"_Children!_" snapped the teacher "Be quiet, put on your aprons and get out your cooking things or he won't be in anyone's group!" The children fell silent and rushed to get ready.

Later, assembled in the kitchen classroom, the teacher divided the children into groups and stuck Ed with the best behaved children, so as not to cause him any trouble. He'd been stripped of his jacket and was sporting the spare apron. It was quite small because it was child-sized. It had flowers on it and a mouse wearing a dress.

"Okay, children! We're all going to make a Victoria Sponge cake today! So I'm going to hand out the recipe to each group leader and you have to follow the instructions." the teacher shouted, making her way round the class handing out sheets of paper. She handed one to Ed.

"If you have any trouble, just tell me right away." she told him firmly.

"Okay, what do we have to do first?" Ed asked the kids, laying the recipe out on the table so they could all see.

"Oh, Oh, I know!" Millie's hand shot up in the air. By sheer fluke she'd ended up in Ed's group and was silently gloating about it to the various Ed fans in the other groups, who were giving her jealous looks from their own tables. "We have to put in the flour! And then, and then, we have to put in the eggs!"

"Okay, who wants to do that?" he asked. There was a general chorus of 'me me me!' "Okay, Sarah, you put in the flour, and you three can put in one egg each." Ed told them. There were a few 'aww's from the few left out children. "It's okay, you can do the next thing, Mark. Then you, Max. Okay, what next?"

"We mix it up!" said Mark enthusiastically, grabbing a whisk.

"Okay then, let's-"

"Goodness, Ed that's not right.." the teacher looked over his shoulder to see how they were getting on. "You're supposed to sift the flour before you put it in. And it's supposed to be put in last. You need to cream together the butter and sugar first-"

"Oh." Ed looked at the recipe "Oh, so I was. Sorry. I guess there's nothing I can do about it now."

"Well, do it in another bowl first and then add it. It should be alright..." the teacher replied and moved on to the next group.

After sorting the other ingredients, Ed and his group looked at their mixture.

"It looks lumpy."

"Yeah. I don't think it's 'posed to be lumpy, Mr. Ed. What are we gonna do?"

"Don't worry, we'll fix it..." Ed reassured them "Where are the whisks and things?" The children pointed. Ed rummages around in one of the drawers until he found an electric whisk. The teacher gave him a quizzical look. "Is it okay if I use this?" he asked her, pointing at it.

"Yes, but don't let the children use it by themselves." she warned him. Ed nodded. He returned to the table with the whisk and plugged it in.

"Okay, it should be fine if we mix it with this." Ed said, switching it on. When the mixture looked about right, he pulled it out. There were a few shrieks from the children, causing the teacher to come hurrying over.

"Honestly, Mr. Phoenix." sighed the teacher "When I said the children shouldn't use it unsupervised, I didn't know I should have included you."

Ed and several of the children had cake mixture splattered across their aprons and faces. Ed had forgotten to switch the mixer off before he pulled it out and it had gone everywhere.

"Sorry." he apologised. The children giggled.

"Aww, Ed's in trouble!" they chorused.

"Quickly, everybody, you need to get your cakes in the oven or you won't have time to make the jam and cream!" the teacher called, eyeing Ed meaningfully.

They managed to get the cake into the oven without any further mishaps. This time, Ed bothered to read the recipe before asking the kids.

"So what do we need to do now?" he asked.

"Oh, me! Pick me!" Mark's hand shot up in the air, beating even Millie "We have to make the cream!"

"And how do we do that, Mark?" asked Ed.

"Er..." Mark slowly put his hand down.

"Um, um, we have to mix sugar and butter!" Millie piped up.

"What kind of sugar, Millie?" Ed asked. Millie took a deep breath.

"Icing sugar!!" she shouted, as if the answer would be forgotten if she didn't yell it right away.

"Right, right." Ed replied, putting his finger to his lips "So who wants to do that? Why don't you do it, Sammy?" he gave the spatula and bowl to the last child in the group, who'd been quiet and hadn't managed to do anything yet. Sammy nodded and set about measuring the sugar and butter.

"Now we have to make the jam!" Millie shouted "Mr. Ed, can I make the jam? Can I?"

"We'll all make the jam while Sammy makes the butter cream." Ed replied diplomatically "Millie, you get a bowl and Max, you get the sugar. Mark, you need to get another measuring pot."

As the kids were measuring the fruit and sugar for the jam, there was a gentle tug at Ed's sleeve.

"Um, Mr. Phoenix..." came a quiet voice. It was Sammy. "I think I used too much butter, Mr. Phoenix. Am I in trouble?" he asked in a worried voice.

"No, no." Ed reassured him "You just need to add more icing sugar. Just keep adding it until it looks right."

"Okay..." Sammy nodded and went back to his bench to add more sugar.

The kids had finished measuring the fruit and sugar and were somehow managing to cause a catastrophe merely by pouring them into the pan. Ed asked them to clean up and sent Sammy to get the water. Sammy had made a good job of the butter cream, but the problem was there was now much too much of it. The teacher picked that moment to move back to Ed's group to check the damage. She took one look at the bowl, sighed, and walked off to the next group.

A few minutes later she came running back as a plume of black smoke rose up from the simmering pan.

"You need to stir that, or it'll burn!" she shouted, grabbing it off the stove and running to the window to stop the classroom getting smoked out.

Eventually, the cake was finished. Despite the disasters of the last hour, it didn't look half bad. Ed had solved the problem of having too much butter cream by using it as icing as well as filling. He'd even managed to cover up the fact that it had been cut wonky and the slightly darker than normal jam.

At the end of the lesson, Ed apologised to the teacher. The teacher, merely relieved that the cooking lesson was over and that no major disasters had occurred, thanked him for his time and continued support and said goodbye.

Ed walked back to his apartment in a good mood. He'd made rather a mess of the cake, but it had turned out alright and he liked spending time with the kids. As he rounded the corner and walked along the office blocks towards his block, something made him look round. His reflection was wrong. He nearly choked.

"Leave me alone, dammit!" he shouted, causing several people to turn round and stare. Ed pretended to be talking on his mobile. The watchers shrugged and continued on their way.

"One down, two to go, Ed." whispered the woman reflected in the glass "Keep up the good work."

Then she was gone.

In a foul mood again, Ed stomped back up to his apartment. Thankfully, the only reflection he saw in the bathroom was his own. Women appearing in his bathroom... it was like that business with the fangirls all over again. Thank goodness for restraining orders. He wondered if he could get a restraining order on a godde- on a hallucination. Probably not.

Ed dozed off...

Author: Well, what tripe that was, eh? I won Nanowrimo last year. What am I doing writing this stuff? ¬¬ I'm gonna go write some real books... Hurray for fanfiction writing making me want to do something constructive with my time!

However, if anyone feels like that wasn't time they'll never get back, feel free to review. Flame it all you want. I don't get writers who say 'no flames plz!!' How can you take a thumbs up seriously if you won't take a thumbs down at all? Although that's kinda what being a writer is all about, I guess. Hmm. If anyone has any suggestions for what else we should force Ed to do, feel free to suggest away! (He must suffer. See how I make him suffer. Can't you just see it?)


	2. Chapter 2

Well, I've finished replaying Atelier Iris 3 and now I'm bored. So despite my rant last time, I'm failing once more to do anything productive and am going to write chapter 2 of 'Ed is nice' instead.

Thanks to the people who reviewed it! I appreciate it! And I think someone misunderstood my rant (or maybe I misunderstood your post or have a bad memory) but I'm not a published author. I wish! It's pretty much my dream to have people write awful fanfiction about something _I_ wrote. That's how you know you've made it. Plus it would be hilarious. Boo to the authors who don't want fanfiction of their stuff written!

Disclaimer: I think I'm supposed to put this on all my chapters, so here I go. I don't own Yugioh GX or any of its characters. If I did, it would suck and no-one would like it. Please don't sue me, Kazuki Takahashi.

**Ed is nice! (GX Version!)**

**Chapter 2**

Ed opened his eyes and blinked blearily in the sunlight. He glanced over at his clock, saw the time and sat bolt upright. Then he remembered he'd booked time off and settled back down, dragging his covers over his head.

It was no good; he'd shocked himself wide awake. But even if he got up, he didn't know what to do with himself. Also he wasn't too fond of mirrors or indeed anything reflective at the moment and getting up meant facing the bathroom mirror. He could probably put off shaving for a day or so... but then he'd feel like a tramp. With a sigh, he threw his covers aside and dragged himself to the bathroom. He was damned if he was going to creep around his own bathroom just because a figment of his imagination was stalking him, so he went straight up to the mirror and glared at it. When nothing happened, he shrugged and got on with washing his face.

Washed and dried, Ed rooted through his fridge for something to eat for breakfast. Since he hadn't got a new assistant yet, he was running a little low on food. He'd have to go and get some afterwards. It'd be kind of fun to just browse around for once. He hadn't had time to do his own shopping in quite some time. He made himself some scrambled eggs and toast. After finishing his breakfast and then staring blankly at the wall whilst wondering what to do for five minutes, he shrugged and headed out.

Ed wondered where the best place to go for groceries was. He knew there were a few supermarkets and little shops around, but since he never needed to go, he didn't really know where. He wandered along the street, enjoying the sunshine, trying to remember whereabouts he'd seen food shops... he was well aware of the location of the convenience store, but it wasn't the place to do your weekly shop. Not if you wanted a good figure and a healthy bank balance, anyway. Led by his nose, Ed found a bakery and bought himself some tasty looking bread and some pastries. He didn't normally indulge in sweets, but what the hell, if he was going to have time off, he was going to have time off _properly_. A couple of danishes wouldn't ruin him.

Ed left the bakery, rounded the corner and stopped. He could hear kids crying a mile away; it was probably something to do with the whole D-Hero complex. He headed towards the sound. Sure enough, round the next corner, a little girl was stood under a tree, crying. She was holding a cardboard box.

"Hey." Ed bent down next to the little girl "What's wrong? Are you lost?" The little girl sniffed and shook her head. She looked at Ed and held up the box.

"M-my kitty..." she sniffed "We took her to the vets and then Mommy had to go into a store where animals aren't allowed so she said just wait here for a minute and my kitty jumped out of the box and ran away!" she started crying even more "And I can't run after her because Mommy said to stay right here so she can see me through the shop window and-"

"Which way did she go?" Ed asked.

"Th-that way-" the little girl pointed down an alleyway across the street "I th-think..."

"I'll look for her for you, okay?" Ed patted her on the head "So cheer up."

"R-really?" the little girl hiccuped and tried to wipe her eyes with her sleeve, which only made the whole of her face wet.

Ed crossed the road and looked around for any animals. Even if he didn't see the cat, he might see something else looking at it. A lost and frightened animal would be like a magnet to the local populace.

He peered into the alley the girl had pointed to. There were a few rubbish bins around and a pile of cardboard boxes, plus a few bin bags that were piling up. Something rustled in the corner. Ed approached with caution. He didn't want to sneak up; that would frighten the cat if he came upon it all of a sudden. But he couldn't just walk up, that would be threatening to it... aside from that, it was no guarantee that it was a cat making all the noise. It was just as likely to be a mangy dog or a rat or something else unsavoury. The rustling stopped.

"Ch, ch, ch. Here kitty..." Ed called quietly. There was a movement and Ed saw what was indeed a cat, hiding in a cardboard box behind the bins. "Here kitty." he repeated, manoeuvring himself around the bins and slowly reaching towards the cat. It crouched and moved further into the box. Ed reached forward and managed to touch it's head. He stroked it twice, after which it swiped at him and left his hand looking like it had been through a bacon slicer. He tried again, with much the same result. He reached forward again and managed to get the cat out and grab it. He carried it down the alley and out onto the street. It struggled and tried its best to get away, but Ed hung on grimly. He was trying to cross the road, back to the little girl, who was watching him anxiously. As he raised a hand to wave to her, the cat tried to leap over his shoulder. He had no choice but to clamp it across his chest, causing it to dig its claws in, making him flinch.

Finally, after several painful minutes of waiting and swearing rather badly in his head at all the traffic rushing past, he made it back to the tree.

The little girl gave him a funny look.

"Mister, that's not my kitty."

"_What?_" The shock made him loosen his grip and cat launched itself off Ed's shoulder, almost knocking him over.

"My kitty is white, with tabby blotches all over. She's called Cinnamon."

Just then, there was a noise from above them. Ed looked up.

"Was that a meow?" he asked, peering through the branches. Sure enough, there was a little tabby and white face peering back through the leaves.

"Meow?" it said.

"Cinnamon!" the little girl cried.

"That's definitely your cat?" Ed asked, wincing as he flexed his bacon slicered hand.

"Cinnamon, come down! Bad kitty!" the little girl called.

"I'm guessing that's a yes. Right." Ed grabbed hold of a low branch and stuck his foot on the tree "I'll get her down for you. Just wait there. If she jumps down, you need to be ready to grab her, okay?" The little girl nodded.

"Thanks mister!" Ed managed with some difficulty to get himself onto one of the lower branches. He was rather annoyed about his suit. White is not a good colour to climb trees in and he suspected that tree mould and accumulated car fume residue was one of those stains you couldn't get out with anything. He sighed. Oh well. It wasn't like he didn't have a shedful of white suits anyway(1).

He climbed onto the sturdiest branch as near to the cat as he could get, at which point it promptly moved further up the tree. He cursed under his breath and tried to haul himself onto the next brach without injuring himself and failed. He managed to get a twig stuck up his trouser leg and a whole spray across his face at the same time. He swore not so quietly, causing the little girl to call up in a concerned tone;

"Are you okay up there, mister?"

"I'm fine." Ed managed, spitting leaves out of his mouth, and pushing the twigs away as he climbed up higher. The cat couldn't go anywhere now, but was stubbornly backing away as much as it could without falling off. After turning his hand into cross hatching, the cat finally allowed itself to caught.

"Mister? Have you caught Cinnamon yet?" the little girl called up, worried.

"Yeah." Ed called back "But I'm not too sure about getting down..."

"Can't you climb down?" At this point, the child's mother showed up.

"Amy, what on earth are you doing? Why is the box open?" her tone went from confused to worried with a hint of rage "_Where's Cinnamon?_" Through the leaves, Ed saw the little girl point up at him.

"That man has her."

"_What?_" her mother snapped "What man? Why?" Looking up, she saw Ed and turned her anger on him "What do you think you're doing? Get down here with my cat at once!" she pulled out her mobile phone "I'm calling the police!"

"Wait, wait! It's not... I can't just..." Ed thought a very rude word and redoubled his grip on the cat, which was acting much the same as the one from before. 'What the hell.' he thought. And jumped(2).

Ed rolled forward as he landed, so he didn't break his knees. The cat was almost grateful to be put back in its box. Only cats lack the ability to be grateful when rescued from life threatening situations, so it wasn't and nearly erupted from the box a second time.

"Hello? Police?" the woman began, but Ed plucked the phone out of her hand.

"I'm just rescuing a cat from a tree. It's all a misunderstanding." he told the woman on the other end of the line and hung up. He handed the phone back to the livid woman. "And now I have, I'll be on my way..."

Ed had only managed to buy food from the bakery after all, so he stopped by the convenience store on the way home. In a foul mood once more and desperately needing a bath and a fresh suit, Ed dumped his shopping on the table and headed for the bathroom.

He saw movement out of the corner of his eye cursed himself for looking.

"I saw that Ed!" the woman said brightly "That's two good deeds down and I didn't even have to tell you to do 'em! Aren't we doing well?"

"I'm about to have a shower. And I'm pretty pissed off." Ed said bluntly "Go away. If I ever find out how to get at you, you're so dead."

"Such language for a gentleman." the woman chided, shaking her head "Only one task to go... I shall have to think of something, before you beat me to it..."

Ed threw a towel over the mirror and got on with his shower. He still had half the day left and he didn't feel like staying in his apartment _now._ Maybe he should seriously think of beating the woman to thinking of a good deed to do...

Ed shook himself, made himself a cup of a tea and sat down with a danish...

(1)I'm not even making this up.

(2)You know he would. We've seen him jump through a glass window after jumping from a helicopter. He's not an extreme sports guy for nothing. Couple that with his hero complex and I'm sure jumping from a tree whilst holding a cat that's trying to shred your neck is probably a piece of cake for him.

Author: I hate you, auto bulleting. Well, there we go. I think the whole cat in a tree thing came from the original version (Poor Ed Elric.), although I wasn't thinking of it at the time... In my original, Ed and Al performed a puppet show -; I don't think Ed is quite up to that, especially since theres only one of him, but he really has managed to beat me to making him do nice things. I need to think up something he's going to hate for his final task. Ideas?

Feel free to flame like crazy. Once again, I fail to understand people who complain about flames. For a start, you're not going to be perfect and that annoys some people. Also, are you an author or not? Phillip Pullman says that one of the qualities of a writer should be the sheer stubbornness, the utter pigheadedness that, against all the odds, you will produce something worth reading(Writers Handbook Guide to Writing for Children). So ignore them, if they aren't constructive. And if they are, take it on board. And if you're just writing for fun and you don't care if there are plot holes and Jaden would never do that ever, but you told him to, so he damn well is, then why should you CARE what other people think?

On a non-ranty note... It's nearly April! Script Frenzy is coming... go Google it or something. And if you read the authors advice on TV scripts you will learn an interesting thing... there's actually a USE for fanfiction! Will wonders never cease? Apparently not.


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